Indulging in Your Villain Era

Push-over behaviour is so 2021; welcome to the new movement you didn't know you needed, your villain era...

First and foremost, let's ditch this idea that the villain era means you are to be a downright evil person. When we speak about the villain era, think of it as synonymous with "Choosing yourself." 

It's easy to lose track of your wants and needs when you love hard, whether that love is poured into a relationship, a friendship, or even a job. We put the needs of the person or job we love most above our own, convincing ourselves if this is cared for appropriately, we will feel satisfied. 

This is not always the case.

The effort we give out is not always the effort reciprocated. 

We curb how we feel to ensure the comfort of others, and that is so not villain of us. 

So let's turn the page of this story and start embracing the selfish in us. 

Now I'm not talking about being cold and callus just because we can. I'm talking about standing our ground, demanding mutually beneficial relationships, and loving ourselves enough to walk away if we aren't getting what we need. 

It's okay to look bad in the eyes of toxic people.

If these people were not toxic, they would not hold putting your needs first against you. Understanding people know that sometimes you need to put yourself first, sometimes you simply do not have the energy to carry the weight of someone else's problems when your life is not being carefully tended to because of it.

Being a chronic people-pleaser is the true evil.

Here's something I'm sure you don't want to hear... not everyone will like you. Not everyone will think you're generous, kind, hardworking and amazing. That's just the harsh reality of being human; you will not be everyone's cup of tea. 

The real issue ensues when you beat yourself up for not meeting impossible standards like having everyone adore you. It's total disrespect to yourself. 

Sometimes all you can do is try your best, and if that's not enough, then so be it. The things meant for you will always be for you. Quit people-pleasing, and please your damn self! 

Asserting boundaries isn't mean; it's mandatory.

While it's great to be the friend everyone can call for any need that comes to mind, are they doing the same for you? 

When you ask for something or state something, are you being heard?

It probably won't be well-received when you first start asserting boundaries. 

You spent so long being told what you're going to do, rather than choosing what you're willing to do, so it will be an adjustment for the people around you. 

But who cares, remember? You're a villain now. It's about you, not them. 

Remember, boundaries don't have question marks. We are not asking; we're setting expectations.

Let's remind ourselves why we're here reading this - 

We are tired of being walked all over; we are ready to set boundaries, show up for ourselves, and heal insecurities.  

The Villain Era is about leaving behind what no longer serves you and making room for what will.